catatonic_17: (Default)
I made this account back in September 2013. And now, I'm back here again! Yey! A new home. Hopefully I can be more active in writing in this new and re-vamped home. (still keeping mhy LJ though)

Can I have a moment to just gush over how adorable my DW account's theme is? Even though I am not a coffee person, I've been living on coffee and coffee-munchies for the past year so yeah! More coffee and munchies!

This month of February, my personal goal is to post at least one entry everyday to practice writing. I've so many stories and love letters and ideas to brainstorm and research on before I can actually start making a draft. I hope I really make progress on that long list of "prompts" and plot bunnies. I have to practicing how to write in such a way that is clear and concise but still with a touch of panache (hehe, I just wanted to use that word), with ideas flowing in a logical manner. I have this tendency to think and speak in circles, and that is reflected in my writing. Hence the "for my eyes only" privacy setting in this journal. I can't bear to have another person develop a headache trying to follow my train of thought. So daily and stringent practice is a must!

And maybe, just maybe, I can have the courage to post some entry publicly.

Jai yo~ Fighto~ Aja aja~

GCAC day two

Wednesday, 30 October 2013 21:52
catatonic_17: (arashi)
I am so dead tired even though I did not do much today. Must be because I've been on my feet most of the day, and my flats are not very feet friendly. I suddenly pity all the sales people and waiters in the world.
learnings/insights/random thoughts for today:
* I did not see kuya Jedi today. Sadness.
* Less people came today but it was so awesome to see Rev Mac Bradshaw today, all well and on the mend.
* I was able to chat with Dr. Adonis Gorospe. Wasn't able to listen to his paper presentation but it was nice to sit down with him.
* I am reminded once again that witnessing should always be in context. Kahit hindi cross-cultural, the principle is still the same. One of the speakers said (I think it was Tita Melba) that asking a person whether he is saved or whether he is going to heaven is not a relevant question to ask Filipinos (especially those in rural areas) because our indigenous belief system has a different conceptualization of the afterlife than the the western heaven-or-hell dichotomy. What is relevant to Filipino religious consciousness that we should be engaging as Christians witnessing is their concern/interest about power over spirits/elementals who could/would harm them. Personally, I realized that this is a more relevant concern since both my cell person and the monsay bible study group expressed interest about spirits, ghosts, and the like. It was wiser if I had focused more on Christ's victory and total sovereignity over the principalities and powers (thus assuring them that they do not have to fear spirits and be controlled by that fear) rather than rigidly following the bible study guide I was following. Because of my lack of insight, I made it seem like studying the bible is boring and "bookish," and not the dynamic and life changing endeavor it really was.
* Question for myself: Am I engaging God through a western frame of mind, thus limiting my experience of Him? (Since I am not engaging him in my native tongue, in my indigenous value system)

Lord, I know I'm avoiding the real/central issue with my relationship with you by asking such a "big" theological question. I'msorry for not being consistent, for not taking you seriously enough. Tita Melba was right: I do not fit ISACC's culture because I remain immature in my faith. Sorry Lord.    
catatonic_17: (arashi)
(taking a break from translation)
* I'm very hopeful that radical changes (which the church is badly in need of) will happen to the catholic church. I'm not a catholic but I am reminded that those who are for Jesus are my co-workers in the harvest field. And since I live in a predominantly Catholic country, the changes in Vatican will be felt in here.
I am also hopeful because the New Pope (Pope Francis I) seems to have the heart for the poor (since he serves in Brazil), and lives a modest life, which is so uncommon for Archbishops. And this is good news. Sabi nga ng best friend ko "The divides between Christian denominations matter less and less when we are all united with the poor."

I may not be a catholic, but I will include the new Pope in my prayers. As the leader of the Roman Catholic Church, he has much work to do and he will be under scrutiny. I pray that God will be his only source of wisdom and strength. I pray that indeed he will reflect Christ in his whole being--through his actions and words and decisions.

(back to work)
catatonic_17: (arashi)
I seriously don't know how to feel about this....
Am I proud that people in Japan acknowledge my idol's beauty and passion and talent? Am I envious that she is is Japan and will be moving in the same entertainment circle as Arashi (and will soon get a chance to guest in talk shows and variety shows)? Do I cringe because she is a pop-star (much like AKB48), famous for being "kawaii"? Should I feel Pinoy pride?

I think I'll settle for confused. Gambatte Alodia-chan!

*PS: It is soooo easy to hate her. But I love her too much. <3


Friday, 22 February 2013 05:03
catatonic_17: (arashi)
I just realized I have no patience and compassion to become an editor. As I translate (and edit at the same time) a written report on Spiritual Abuse (for my chinese classmate), I can't count the number of times I cursed the author of the sloppy report in my head. As if making the report elementary level is not hard enough, I have to think what the author meant to say, which is usually hidden by verbose constructions and archaic expressions. Arghhhh! So frustrating!

Adding to the frustration is the topic itself: Spiritual abuse. People do use religion and spirituality to take advantage of people. Hence the emergence scandals in catholic churches and cults. It has been present forever, since I believe it is innate for humans to seek God. That's why some can take advantage of that innate longing, because people would do anything to connect to God, to find meaning and purpose in life. They are so unforgivable. I can't help myself wishing that there would be a special place in hell for people like them. I believe they are one of the reasons why some people become atheist. How dare they tarnish the character of God for their selfish gains. Argghhh!

(this excellent opportunity to reflect on my own spiritual walk and how susceptible I am of committing spiritual abuse since I am a leader, but I'm too frustrated to think straight and I really want to get the task over with. Maybe later.)

about fashion

Thursday, 4 October 2012 07:50
catatonic_17: (Default)
(in yet another attempt at procrastination)
I like clothes. Most people call me fashionable, and I beam when they say my outfit looks nice. I've received comments like:

"how big is your closet?" )

(must share more pictures here. If only I knew how to take good enough pictures to show)

catatonic_17: (Default)
Congrats Chinen kun, Yamada chan and Nakajima chan! Highschool's over, now on to more JE activities!

Also congrats to the college qualifiers: Okamoto (Sophia University), Inoo (Meiji University), Yabu (Waseda University). Being admitted to college is already a big accomplishment,but you guys got in to such big universities! Sugoi! Here's to more College-graduate JE idols! Break stereotypes!

I may be wrong, but I believe Sho-kun paved the way for JE idols to actually consider pursuing a college degree even though they already have a successful JE career. I think that is just awesome and admirable. Hope they graduate and receive their degrees! 
Sigh, I just wish I could apply (and be accepted) to Sophia or Keio as well. 
catatonic_17: (Default)
"Akanishi Jin and Kuroki Meisa release official statements about their marriage"

*mind blown*
catatonic_17: (Default)
I don't know why but I love watching shows with swords-women. I'm currently waiting for Hana no Ato (Kitagawa Keiko) and Ichi (Ayase Haruka). And I have yet to watch Raiou (Aoi Yuu). And I love Blood+ (Jun Ji Hyeon). There's something about Japanese women wielding swords that fascinates me. It must be the perfect balance of beauty and strength exhibited by such strong women typically seen as gentle and fragile by society. And, probably, I want to be like that too--to be strong and capable of defending myself. I'm tired of being weak and helpless.

On another note, I can't wait for the live action version of Rurouni Kenshin! I just got a copy of the anime (even though I've sworn to myself not to because I can't stand Kaoru), and I feel like I'm back in grade school, gushing over Kenshin, wishing I was his wifey (Tomoe is my fave RK character. She wounded Battousai! How kickass is that?!). Kenshin is played by Sato Takeru. He looks pretty cool as Kenshin. I have yet to watch anything he is in. Might get a copy of one of his films (like BECK. Also because Mizushima Hiro is there).

Since Nobuhiro Watsuki sensei will be part of production, I am assured somewhat that Hollywood won't mess it up. I really hope hollywood won't mess it up. If they do, it would be cool if sensei would do this as well:

The company (Studio Ghibli) is known for its strict "no-edits" policy in licensing their films abroad. This was a result of the dubbing of Miyazaki's Nausicaä of the Valley of Wind when the film was released in the United States as Warriors of the Wind. The film was heavily edited and Americanized, with significant portions cut and the plot rewritten. The "no cuts" policy was highlighted when Miramax co-chairman Harvey Weinsteinsuggested editing Princess Mononoke to make it more marketable. In response, a Studio Ghibli producer sent an authentic katana with a simple message: "No cuts"
(from: wikipedia)

Now that would be soooo battousai. <3
catatonic_17: (Default)
This January will be uber busy--church activities, acads, extramural classes--and I know that I will be finding myself down on my knees before my Lord. Because of my full schedule, I would have to limit my internet, DLing habits, give up on manga and anime and Arashi for the time being, and give more time to Bible reading.

So I challenge myself with a marshmallow test: With Sho and arashi goodies as my marshmallows. After the month of January ends, I can finally indulge in my fandom. So until January 31 (tuesday), I will work hard and be stoic, like Gackt and Sho and Matsujun, and work to the bones!

Oh, the incubation period starts on January 09. *bargaining*

Gambatte me!

~ Oh yeah, I thank God for [ profile] nadegata for starting my Sho-month with an awe-mazing Sho interview. <3
catatonic_17: (Default)
I was in the middle of grad school class, actively participating in the discussion, when I realized that Gackt's Vanilla was playing in my head NON-STOP. It was really weird and totally unexpected. I had to consciously stop myself from swaying to the music. And images of Gackt's concert performance clip was really distracting beyond words.

It is weird that I am so enamored by this artist. The saner part of me tries to analyze why:
* He is a vampire (there goes my "sane" logic)
* The gap between his stoic image and his funny, playful side is addicting. You want to see more and more.
* His talking voice is smexy. Smexy must have been invented to describe this man.
* He is so friggin talented it is not fair. (But at least he is not a terpischore. Or that would have been totally unfair).
* He has pretty eyes (not only because of the contacts and the eye make up)
And I'm wishing that Gackt becomes part of the Dandyism bureau. His advice to Sho's sleeping habit problems would be so epic and nosebleed inducing.

crushing on gackt

Wednesday, 20 July 2011 22:27
catatonic_17: (Default)
I just have to let this thought out because I have no one with me to fangirl with:
1) Gackt is hot. He is another level of hot. His beauty is unreal and can only be found in vampire manga.
2) There should be more Arashi-Gackt collaborations. 
3) Sorry Nino, but Ohno has found another man which makes his heart go "kyaaa~"
4) I have to watch Moonchild again. Sho-Kei OTP <3
5) Harisenbon's Haruna is one lucky girl. sigh...Gackt-sama...

I cannot believe I just spent the whole night looking up Gackt's videos, PV's and songs! Urgh. I don't need another fandom! But his vampire charms are so hard to resist. And he is actually funny too...

I am a leming

Monday, 18 July 2011 22:18
catatonic_17: (Default)
Because my facebook news feed is flooded by HP7.2 quotes and book excerpts that I found myself actually wanting to read the whole series from book 1. I also wanted to watch all the movies. Great. Like I need another fandom to take up my time. Urgh.

And because Arashi is promoting Android AU phones, I  found myself actually wanting to have one as well. I'm researching how I can get my hands on one. Their commercials are that compelling.
sigh...maybe I should abstain from going online for awhile before I pick up more expensive crazes.
catatonic_17: (Default)
So Ensemble (my discipleship group) is doing a time capsule that we will be opening 10 years from now. I'll be 32 then. Since I'm in the mood for making lists and daydreaming (and also because I am currently experiencing major writer's block) I've decided to list down the things I'd like to accomplish before I turn 30 (which gives me 8 years to accomplish these things):
the partial list )
Reviewing my partial list makes it obvious (at least to an arashi fan) how I am heavily influenced by Arashi. That's a good thing right?
catatonic_17: (Default)
Even though you are not my ichiban (not even my niban), you frank nature and sharp tongue is really endearing. Looking forward to more ohmiya moments! 
<3 <3 <3
first day of class is in a few hours, and my biggest concern is "what do I wear?!"

Read more... )
I tried curling my hair with rollers but  since my hair was still wet, it failed big time. Super major fail. But at least I wasn't late for class.
catatonic_17: (Default)
(I really have to write here more often...)
Read more... )
catatonic_17: (Default)
 I felt that I had to write something here. So here goes:

* Tomorrow is UPD's first day of classes, but since my classes are only on mondays and fridays, my first day of class would be this friday. I am really excited and apprehensive at the same time. I'm still not sure if I should be taking masteral studies. eeeep!  But just like my mom, I'm just here to try it out and see where it would lead me. Here's hoping that it would  lead me to a scholarship to Japan.

*  When I enrolled for the first semester, I was really surprised by how God was in everything. One of my worries was my class load: I didn't want to miss my Tuesday bible study with Ensemble (my cell group) and the midweek service on Wednesdays. God made it possible that I only had classes on Mondays and Fridays. Such grace! 
And as if that was not enough, He also gave Dra. Bolet Bautista as my adviser. Not only is she one leading therapists in the country, she is also a Christian and both my mom and aunt know her personally. Woah~! If that isn't God's grace, I don't know what is. God's putting the right people in my life at this specific time. Must mean that I would soon be stepping up.
And for the cherry on top of this grace sundae, she offered me to be her graduate assistant. Not only will I be learning from her in class (she's my prof in psychotherapy), I will also be learning from here first hand, through experience. What an opportunity! Thank you Lord!
* Because I am a part-time student, I only have 6 units of class load. And because the tuition fee for grad students is only 500/unit, I  could easily afford paying it with my own money. Thank you Lord! 
* Speaking of money matters, I got a commissioned translation job for a publishing house working with Gawad Kalinga. I finally get to translate short stories! And from Filipino to English (which is a whole lot easier)! Yey! The rates are pretty good, even though it is kind of short notice (I have to submit it by June 14, I got it last Thursday night). By the grace of God, I finished them a day early (with only minor editing left to do). Praise God!
* I'll be meeting my guy best friend in a few hours. Yey! I haven't seen him in ages. I'm really glad that we can meet for lunch today. So excited to know how he is doing.
So I've been going between sleeping and being awake because of that one story that very tricky to translate (Ano ba ang egg shell sa tagalog?!) It really peeved me knowing that I was practically transliterating the whole thing. It super needs a lot of work. Which I should be doing right now. 
Off to work then!


Thursday, 26 May 2011 04:50
catatonic_17: (Default)
why am I so undisciplined? I never thought maintaining a journal could be so challenging. It's not that I am too busy with other things, its just I'm not doing anything that I have nothing to write about. sigh~

So what have I been up to?
* preparing (or trying to) for the third batch of Women's Encounter at church
* preparing for the coming school year (clearing my hard disc of distractions)
* coping with my super delayed and piled up Bible reading
wahh. I am really anxious about what's ahead of me, but this morning's devo reminds me that:
"Anxiety makes us doubt God's lovingkindness thus our love for Him grows cold; we feel mistrust and thus grieve the Holy Spirit of God, so that our prayers become hindered, our consistent example marred, and our life one of self-seeking." (Charles Spurgeon)
All that just because of a little anxious thought. Lord, please help me to become fully dependent on you without being complacent or lackadaisical. Help me to depend on your wisdom. Thank you Lord for new opportunities to testify about your grace and mercy!
~ I should really write more often. and regularly. Devo insight entries sound good!


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